The village hall was packed for our pre Christmas celebration evening where members were welcomed with a glass of mulled wine and home made mince pies.
Our speaker was local auctioneer Martyn Fox, from Aylsham, whose topic was ‘From Condoms to Coffins!’ Martyn was born in Yorkshire, but Norfolk has been his home for the past twenty years.
He first kept us amused with the variations dialect and pronunciation make when in the auction room. People would ask him if he had any stuffed birds in a ‘doom’ (glass dome), ‘poos’ (pews) or ‘bowels in a bag’ (bowls in a bag) for sale. He also mentioned how names such as De’ath, B’stard and Gotobed can cause a wry smile or two.
He regaled us with stories regarding people who don’t always realise the value of goods that they sell – there was once a lady who entered just one bottle of a vintage Sauternes in a sale. This made a price of £500. She said she originally had three, but had poured two down the sink as they looked off colour. She too looked off colour when told this particular wine darkened with age and she had lost out to the tune of £1000!
Evidently an auctioneer’s life is in his own hands during a sale. Not only do they sometimes have to balance precariously over cattle, pig and sheep pens, but once many years ago when flared trousers were in vogue an inquisitive goose managed to nibble at Martin’s knees.
Martyn ended his amusing talk with the rules and regulations of an auction. A lot does not have to be sold to the highest bidder if the reserve is not reached, although the auctioneer may use some discretion. This too applies if there is a dispute at an auction. He mentioned that nowadays the auctioneer is not just paying attention to bids within the sale room, but also listening for bids over the telephone and looking at online bids too.
Paul Weeks